Addiction to Blame

Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, if he thought she was wrong about something, if he was feeling alone, or even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he didn't know the answer. He would sometimes even blame her if his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he didn't get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he couldn't seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her.

As I explored various situations with Allen, it became apparent that he was not just blaming his wife. Allen was constantly blaming and judging himself. He would verbally beat himself up for mistakes, telling himself things like, "I'm such a jerk," and would often say very negative things to himself, such as, "Things will never get any better," or "I'm just a loser," or "I'm a big disappointment to myself." He would then feel angry and agitated as a result of abusing himself, but he never connected his anger with his self-judgment. Instead, he would dump his anger on his wife, or yell at other drivers on the freeway.

It became apparent to Allen that he would not be able to stop blaming his wife until he stopped blaming and judging himself. His addiction to blaming others was a direct result of his self-abuse.

The problem was that Allen had learned to be very self-indulgent regarding his thoughts. He let his thoughts run rampant, never stopping to discern whether or not what he was telling himself was the truth or was a lie. As a result, he was constantly allowing the wounded part of himself, his ego self, to be in charge. And this part of him was filled with all the lies he had learned in the 46 years of his life.

Allen was appalled when he realized that all his anger at others was really his anger at himself for abusing himself. He was projecting onto others what he was doing to himself. He saw that he was especially sensitive to others' judgment because he was so judgmental of himself.

As we explored why Allen was so self-abusive, he realized that he believed that if he judged himself enough, he could have control over getting himself to do it "right." He realized this wasn't true by an experience he had playing tennis.

"I played last Wednesday and I was in a really good mood. I was just playing for the fun of it, rather than to play well, and I played my best game ever! The very next day I played worse than I have for a long time. I realized that, having done so well on Wednesday, I now wanted control over doing as well on Thursday. As soon as I tried to control it, I lost it.

I want to stop doing this, but I've been doing it my while life. How do I stop?"

Stopping any addiction is always a challenge. Changing our thought process is especially challenging. However, there is a process available, but it will work only when you really want to change. Changing from being self-abusive to self-loving has to become more important to you than continuing to try to control yourself through your self-judgments.

1. Pay attention to your feelings. Learn to be aware of when you are feeling angry, anxious, hurt, scared, guilty, shamed, depressed, and so on.

2. Make a conscious decision to learn about what you are telling yourself that is causing your pain, rather than ignoring it, turning to substance or process addictions, or continuing to abuse yourself.

3. Ask yourself, "What am I telling myself that is causing me to feel badly?" Once you are aware of what you are telling yourself, ask yourself, "Am I certain that what I'm telling myself is the truth, or is it just something I've made up?" Then ask yourself, "What am I trying to control by telling myself this?"

4. Once you are aware that you are telling yourself a lie that is causing you to feel badly, and why you are telling it to yourself, ask the highest, wisest part of yourself, or ask an inner teacher or a spiritual source of guidance, "What is the truth?" When you sincerely want to know the truth, it will easily come to you.

5. Change your thinking, now telling yourself the truth.

6. Notice how you feel. Lies will always make you feel badly, while the truth brings inner peace. Any time you are not in peace, go through this process to discover what lie you are telling yourself. Eventually, with enough practice, you will be in truth and peace more and more of the time.

A Fear And Phobia Of The Future

My name is Steve Hill from England. In this article I am going to explain about how I have managed to turn my life around from one which was constantly living in fear, to one where I now look forward to the future. I hope this proves to be interesting and beneficial to anyone who reads it.

I was always the type of person who would be constantly worrying about many different aspects of life and who was seemingly always stressed. I could not find a way to break through from this vicious cycle and at many a time I wondered whether it was worth living at all. I have to admit that on many occasions I have gone to bed hoping that I would die in my sleep and therefore would not wake up.

I am virtually sure that I am not the only one who lives life in this way. What I decided to do was to try to work out what exactly was causing my anxiety and stress. 

It was about being honest with myself. There have been many a night where I have been unable to get to sleep all night, basically I had too many worries circling through my mind. This meant that I could not relax and therefore could not sleep.

By thinking clearly, I realised that I had a fear of the future. I am someone who talks to myself quite a lot, a bit strange I know. I would often be asking myself a number of questions:

What will happen if I lose my job?

How will I cope if my girlfriend leaves me?

I have a wedding to attend next week, what if I make a fool of myself in front of my friends and family?

I am going on holiday in three months time, how will I cope if there are any problems with the plane etc?

How am I going to afford to buy my first house?

How will I cope when my parents die?

These are just a few of many questions that I used to ask myself.

I decided to discuss the way I was living my life and my fears to my parents. They gave me some superb advice. They stated that life is too short to be constantly living in fear and that worrying only makes things worse. I basically had to try my best every day and that is all anybody could expect from me. They told me to think in a more positive way and to concentrate on all of the good things that I had in my life. There will no doubt be challenges ahead but you need to deal with them when they arise.

I have taken on board there advice even though it has not been easy. My life is now so much better and when a fear comes into my head I just bat it away.

13 Great Tips To Stamp Out Loneliness

What is LONELINESS? It is not about being on your own. Many people enjoy being on their own and would choose this for themselves for at lest part of the time. They enjoy having their own space. They do not feel the need to have other people around all of the time to validate them or make them feel more comfortable.

If someone experiences feelings of LONELINESS; it is usually not influenced solely by where they are or whether other people are around. It is possible to be in a room full of people and still feel very much ALONE. You can be part of a social gathering and feel LONELY as you are on the periphery and not fully involved with what is going on.

This suggests that LONELINESS is a state of mind. It is tied up with how you feel about yourself.When we have a low self esteem, we have a choice about whether to change this or not. The prospect of change can be daunting.The challenge of embracing this is however very worthwhile, with rewards not only in terms of how you feel bout yourself but also in the quality of your life.

The first task in changing our self esteem is to alter the way in which we view ourselves.

1.Instead of bombarding ourselves with an onslaught of negative comments, try to focus on the more positive aspects about yourself.This could include, PHYSICAL, PRACTICAL, PERSONAL, EMOTIONAL, ATTRIBUTES or things you are good at, PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS..

2.Try asking members of your family, colleagues, friends, how they would describe you. This may reveal a number of POSITIVE statements about you which are surprising and / or uplifting. (Note of caution, choose wisely!)

3.Write down POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS about yourself (Please see article re POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.)

4.Pay more attention to your thoughts and feelings. When you are aware of these being critical, try challenging them or using THOUGHT STOPPING TECHNIQUES. (Please see article re THOUGHT STOPPING TECHNIQUES.)

5.Practise seeing yourself in particular situations when you feel CONFIDENT and good about who you are and the circumstances you are in. you are feeling comfortable. Feedback from others is POSITIVE. People are paying attention to you. You are maintaining good eye contact .Feed as much information into this exercise as possible. Pay attention to your body language and how you converse. Make sure you CHOOSE clothes to make the most of your physical attributes and feel CONFIDENT in them. Do you feel better wearing make up and perfume? (A question for the girls!) Remember how it feels to have a stronger sense of SELF WORTH, to get POSITIVE FEEDBACK from others   and from your own reaction.

6.You can proceed to use the lessons learnt from this exercise to go into the situation for real. You can enter it from a more CONFIDENT and less threatened stance.

7.Try not to leave a situation because of feelings of discomfort or anxiety.This will only increase your fear of a situation at a higher level and give yourself negative feedback.

This can be difficult to do.

It may be helpful to remember that if you suffer from any symptoms of anxiety these are only an exaggerated form of how we all feel from time to time.They cause discomfort but are not life threatening. Placed in a difficult situation, your symptoms any increase but it will reach a peak and come down again. Try not to be afraid of this feeling and run away from the situation. If you need to, use BREATHING exercises to take control of the situation. (Please see article re BREATHING RETRAINING TECHNIQUES.)If you manage your situation effectively in this way, you will get POSITIVE feedback from the experience resulting in you being less fearful in the future.

Alternatively, PLAN ahead.

Think of what would make you feel more comfortable by REHEARSING the situation in your head.This may alert you to any possible difficulties. It is then your task to generate ways of overcoming these difficulties.

It can be useful to decide beforehand that you are only going to stay somewhere for an hour. Giving yourself a time limit may make it easier for you to relax and stay in a situation .Even if you are enjoying yourself, it still makes sense to leave at the time you promised yourself and when things are going well. This will ensure you achieve POSITIVE feedback.

8.Remember how you felt when you last heard a friend say something POSITIVE about you or when they did something which made you feel appreciated and liked.

Spend less time concentrating on negative thoughts about you. Instead be more focussed on others.

Do or say things to others which will make them feel good. You will in turn get POSITIVE feedback from this boosting your SELF ESTEEM.

Try bringing in your neighbours wheelie bin, buying someone flowers, pay someone a compliment, invite someone to lunch, simply say thank you more often!

9.Put more FUN into your life.eg.

Share a joke .Try recalling something which has made you LAUGH heartily.Watch a good comedy. Get out some old photographs. It is even better if you can share the experience with a friend. Share the LAUGHTER!

10.Get involved in some type of activity which will raise your CONFIDENCE. People often resist the suggestion to attend a confidence building class. There  is a place for them but it is perhaps not the best or the healthiest option, to put people together with others who have the same difficulty.

Instead, try one of the following:

Join a drama, music, art, singing or art class, take up a contact sport, challenge yourself by commencing, rock climbing, canoeing, diving, etc.

You will benefit from having set yourself a GOAL or CHALLENGE and by the opportunity to express yourself in a different way.

You will definitely have something new and interesting to talk about.

If you have a family, you may choose an ACTIVITY which you can do together such as cycling.Dance has the added benefit of being good FUN and brings you into contact with other people. SKIPPING can help increase bone density so is great for all of us over 40.Beware you are more likely to do this on your own. You could however go for a really nice walk somewhere and have your ropes in your pocket.

       

If you find it difficult to fit EXERCISE into your day:

Try WALKING instead of using transport .If you must drive, park a little way from your place of work. If you take a bus, get off a few stops from where you  need to. Use stairs not the lift.

If you have a sedentary job, make a point of getting out of your chair regularly and take a WALK in the building.Have a brisk twenty minute WALK at lunch time. Try to get others ROPED in  too!

This will offer opportunity to make a new group of friends.You will have a new shared interest and a sense of camaraderie. You may need to trust and be trusted by others.You will have the opportunity to give  and receive POSITIVE feedback and have

FUN!!!

11.Exercise is useful in enhancing SELF ESTEEM and will also benefit you by lowering your state of arousal. This means that more stress will be required for you to be affected by it. Increased muscle tone can help you feel more confident with how you look. Pick an exercise to meet your specific needs.

     

12.Stop comparing yourself with others. You will only come out of this disfavourably.

13.Stop judging others. More importantly-Stop judging yourself!

12 Ways To Maximize Time And Life

My business experience has taught me one true thing: That maximizing your productivity, happiness, peace, or impact can best be accomplished if you clearly understand the 12 Rules of Time. 

1. Have goals 

Being more efficient with your time is irrelevant if you don't know how you want to spend it. In managing time, the compass is more important than the clock. Know where you want to go and spend your time on the things that get you there. 

Many people spend energy trying to be more efficient without first doing what's important: setting goals. It's like being lost on your way to a new city. Driving faster doesn't help if you are going in the wrong direction. Figure out what direction to go in and head that way. 

Once you've prepared it, your list of goals will reveal what is important to you. 

2. Analyze how you spend your time 

It is always good to know how you're spending your time right now. You can track this by setting a timer to go off every 15 minutes; whenever it sounds, write down exactly what you are doing. Alternatively, divide your day into 15-minute blocks and record each activity you do. 

Once you have your time logs, examine them. How do they compare to your goals? Are you spending time where your priorities are? 

3. Keep a to-do list 

This sounds too simple, but it really is the basis of all time-management systems. Your to-do list can be electronic, on fancy paper, bound in a notebook or loose-leaf. The key is to have everything you want to accomplish on one list. My to-do list might have a one-line item on it, such as "write annual report," which refers me to a much larger file or even a file box on that item. 

4. Prioritize your list 

Once you have the list, determine which are the important items. Mark these with a highlighter, a red pen, or in any other way that makes them stand out. 

I sometimes find my to-do list is too big. Every item on the list calls out "pay attention to me!", even though most of them weren't highlighted as important. In these cases, I take a blank sheet of paper and cover my to-do list and write down only the three or four most important items. Those are the ones to focus on. 

5. Control procrastination 

I use a number of tricks to break any lingering tendencies to procrastinate. For instance, I happen to like having a hard copy of my digital to-do list. I reprint it every few days as new items are added and completed ones dropped. It is at these times that I look for the items that I've marked as high priority, but which are just not getting done. 

People often say I have great self-control. In truth, though, much of it is environment control. I control my environment to eliminate things that I might use to procrastinate. Take games off your computer, for example, sell your TV, and get rid of the busywork jobs that you use to avoid the important tasks. 

I have developed one effective habit that has helped break me of procrastination: "Do the worst thing first." At the beginning of every day, I do the one task that is causing me the most stress, and that I haven't been getting done. Sometimes I just give it a quarter of an hour — based on the theory that I can stand just about anything for 15 minutes. Frequently it is this short thrust that breaks me through. 

If I still find myself procrastinating, I review my reasons for setting a goal. To create extra motivation to complete a task, I strengthen the reasons why it should be done. Similarly, many people reward themselves for completing a job. 

6. Organize 

Organization and time management are linked. I find that I get important things done when I have all the tools I need to perform the job. 

The opposite of organization — chaos, clutter, disorganization — generally leads to busy work. If your desk is piled high, every piece of paper says "look at me." You can end up doing a lot of work without ever getting to the important stuff. 

7. Delegate 

One way to expand your time is to get others to help you with it. The key to delegation is to hand off any tasks that someone else can do significantly faster or more easily than you can. 

If you're protesting that you don't have anyone working directly for you to whom you can delegate tasks, no problem. Consider delegating to a peer, a superior, a supplier, or even a customer. Treat delegation like networking: who in your network would be best for the job? 

In some cases you will need to invest up-front to train someone so he or she can take over a task from you. The long-term savings are usually worth the up-front time and costs. 

After delegation, remember to thank appropriately. You might think people would resent being delegated to, but exactly the opposite is true. People like to be asked, especially if it is to do something that they're good at. 

8. Master efficiency tricks 

The best trick I have found is "The Power of While." What can you do while you drive? While you walk? While you clean? While you watch TV? I am a huge audio tape advocate and frequently listen to tapes while I am doing something else. 

Being a techno person, I love all the organization software out there that allows me to keep my contacts, to-do lists and appointments. I also use gadgets such as cellphones, wireless e-mail, and personal digital assistants. Good use of technology can save you valuable time. 

9. It's OK to say no 

Saying "No" can be the most powerful time tool you can master. When someone asks you to do something, ask yourself how important this is. Does it help you achieve your goals? Is this a task you would be better at than most people? Don't always look for reasons to get out of things, but be strategic about what you take on. 

This doesn't mean that I always say no when asked to help out. But if I do say no, I am always polite and tactful, and try to suggest someone else who would do the job well. 

10. Focus 

Committing 100% focus and concentration on one task at a time can be very powerful. Eliminate distractions. Focus on the task. When you're properly organized and prepared, when your energy and power are high, you can often complete a task in 20% of the time it would take when you're distracted or open to interruption. 

11. Build your efficiency bank 

High efficiency is not possible if you don't look after yourself. Eat right, exercise, sleep well and drink moderately. Mom knew best: all the things she said were good for you just happen to be best for your efficiency, too. 

I also believe meditation can be a great way of building your efficiency. It could be transcendental meditation, Zen, or just finding a way to get into a relaxed state that lets you focus on the task you have to do. No matter how you do it, recharging your batteries gives you the power to do more during the times you need to be at your best. 

12. Take care of yourself 

It isn't possible to be "on" all the time. Take the time you need to look after yourself — body and soul — so that you can reach peak efficiency when you need to. Have a list of things you like to do. Find out what activities energize you, and spend more time doing them. This will give you the power and energy to be more productive when you return to work. 

Finally, a word of advice. If after reading this far you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, I suggest you go back to Rule 1 and add peace (contentment) to your list of goals. Time management is not about adding stress; it is about giving you the time to be the person you really want to be.

5 Simple Steps to Controlling Your Anger

How many times have you lost control of yourself when you're angry? Did you do or said something which you regretted over time? I guess we all did. It's normal, and afterall, we are just human beings. Everyone of us faces problems with anger. The main difference between you and me is that, do you know how to gain control of your anger, instead of letting it control you. It's not easy to gain control of your anger, especially when you are provoked into such situations. Nevertheless, if you are facing with this situation next time, you can try out my 5 simple steps. 

  Step 1 : Identify what makes you upset Start with identifying what upsets your feelings or emotions. Pull yourself aside from everything you are doing or the anger situation you are in, then take a deep breathe and clear your mind. Think, what brought you into this situation. You need to know what is wrong in order to correct it. Right? 

  Step 2 : Use them as a stop signal When you are done with Step 1, you'd probably already knew what made you angry. You might not have the complete clear idea of it, but it's OK. At least you have "some" ideas. Use these as stop signs for your anger. You're upset because the little voices inside your head are telling yourself upsetting things. This in return causes a stir in your feelings, therefore resulting in anger. Stop all these little voices from talking within yourself, and you'll be able to think independantly and not being influenced by them and the situation. 

  Step 3 : Tell yourself positive things It's important to think positive. You can counteract your upsetting thoughts with framing your mind to have a positive self-message. Tell yourself something nice that will make you feel better. For instance, "this anger feeling is only temporary and I don't want to say or do something stupid which I will regret for my actions later." Put the brakes on your feelings. Tell yourself to slow down and take it easy. 

  Step 4 : Make yourself clear Clarify the situation for yourself. Ask yourself, "What is really going on in this situation?" You can then feel disappointed with the situation but not enraged at the people who are creating it.  

Step 5 : Think of constructive goals Try to set more realistic goals for yourself in regard to the problem situation that you are in. Ask yourself, "What are the alternative solutions that I use to resolve this situation?" Be specific as possible, and concrete. "What can you do to change this situation?" List out the constructive options that you have in mind in which to reach your goals. Ask yourself, "What constructive actions can I take to reach my goals?" Finally, choose a constructive option to reach your goal and act fast on it. The 5 simple steps that I had just pointed out to you are exactly what I do whenever I face with anger situations. You can try them out when you face with such situations. Everyone gets angry at times, but the important thing is, "What can you do to overcome this situation?". Gain control of your anger, rather than letting it control you.

How to be a Responsible Coach

Assuming the Responsibilities that come with Being a Coach.

Who can forget the famous line of Peter Parker (Spiderman's grandfather)?  He said, "With great power comes great responsibility."

Society expects Spiderman – a comic book, TV and movie superhero with extraordinary powers – to be responsible for saving his town and the world from the forces of Evil.  And he never let us down. Despite the temptations of owning such powers, he uses his abilities only for the good of the people around him.

Being a coach has similar parallels.  They don't have superhuman powers such as x-ray vision or flying through the air with magic "sticky ropes".  But great coaches can have real power through their abilities to help others – and with it, the responsibility – to guide others towards success.  This is REAL power that can be used to help real people in THIS world.  Done well, coaches can help others turn around their lives.  Done wrong, and a coach could guide a client down the wrong path.

So, with this power to coach your clients towards manifesting their personal and/or business vision comes responsibilities.  Great coaches assume them all as part of the professional responsibility. This can include everything from making sure your client is moving in the right direction, getting them back on course when they are not, and developing and tracking their use of exercises to help them along the way. 

There are a few things you can do to be a more responsible coach.  Just as important, these same skills can be imparted to your clients to help them lead more responsible, integrity-filled lives.

How to Bring out the more Responsible "You" in Yourself and your Client

#1 - Develop self-awareness.  

Learn and know your own strengths and weaknesses to be able to view your behavior objectively.  Recognize your shortcomings, receive feedback, and make changes when necessary.  The more self-aware you become of all your aspects, the more you will know what kind of clients you can coach best and – just as important – those best referred to others.

Dr. Gerard Bell, business consultant and professor at the University of North Carolina in 

Chapel Hill, advises us on how to expand our self-knowledge.  He said, "Study yourself closely and practice self-assessment techniques to learn how you behave, and the effects you have on others.  As others for their option, feedback, and suggestions to become a better coach."

The lesson is simple: the more we grow, the more we can offer, and the more we can help others.

#2: Learn to Separate Responsibility from Worry 

When we hear the word "responsibility", we often think to ourselves, "Another task, another problem."  However, responsibility is not about worrying over things give to us to work out.  Consider this story:

One night at the end of the second shift, the Head of Operations walked out of the plant he managed and passed a porter.  A porter he passed said, "Mr. Smith, I sure wish I had your pay.  But I wouldn't want the worry that goes with it."

Mr. Smith answered, "I give the best I can when I am here.  But I drop the worry when I leave so I can be 100% with my family when I'm at home."

You, too, can learn to give your best to challenging work, but then "leave it at the door" when you're off-hours.  Worrying accomplishes nothing except to eat away at us, and actually ends up making us less effective!  Don't let worry taint your clarity of judgment and ability to take decisive action.  You can learn this as you grow.

Carrying the responsibility of coaching should not intimidate you.  It is the ability to help others that coaching is all about.  Embrace the responsibilities that come with it.

Nothing is gained by worrying about whether your clients achieve their goals or not.  Focus on supporting and inspiring them.  Be their partner in their growth.  Brainstorm with them when it is called for.  But ultimately, it is your client's responsibility to assume responsibility for accomplishing their goals.  You merely help them see and achieve this state. 

#3: Take Calculated Risks and Learn from Your Mistakes

Effective coaches have the courage to ask their clients to take risks when results and success are uncertain.  A willing ness to risk failure is a core attribute of all successful people.

As a coach you can help your clients work with risk and possible failure.  Help them learn to analyze their situation and options.  Work with them to list the pros and cons for each option, then assign each choice a risk factor rating from 1 to 5.  Next, have them determine the likelihood of each occurring.  This will help them quantify and manage the risk-taking process.  

Also, lead them to a better paradigm regarding failure.  What is failure other than great feedback that our current course of action isn't the right path?  Use this information for course correction.  Failure doesn't happen until we give up.  If you don't give up, then failure isn't an option.  

#4: Own and admit our mistakes

Our greatest lessons and growth come through our mistakes. Everyone makes them; it is part of life.  Help your client understand this, and they will be able to draw the necessary lessons and take corrective action.  If we do the "blame game", we don't even take the first step (ownership) in this process.

Not only does owning our mistakes and failures help us to be more truthful and powerful in our own lives.  Owning and assuming responsibility for them lets others see the integrity and virtue within us, and hence further gain their respect.

"Mask"erading In The Movies

Costumes are an essential feature of visual media such as cinema and theatre. In the ancient times, the symbol for Greek theatre was that of two masks -- one joyful and the other sorrowful. Back in those times, the actors had to wear huge masks that amplified their voices. The ancients were used to seeing characters as tall as seven feet thanks to their enormous masks and high shoes. After all, the characters had to be seen and heard by the people in the audience.

These days, with the invention of lighting, microphones, and video cameras, actors have it a lot easier. They can now literally dress for the part that they are playing. One may say that ultimately, the costumes merely heighten the effect of the movie. To combat that view, we have the old adage, "Clothes maketh the man." Clothes can also make or break a movie. You might have a wonderful script with superb actors. However, if you happen to make the mistake of getting the look wrong, success will become somewhat uncertain. It is no wonder that stylists and costume designers are so much in demand in the media world today. If you want an example of how the look of the actors can impact the success of a movie or TV show, Sex and the City is a great example.

As a result, the makers of the movie, Shakespeare in Love, invested much time and energy in recreating the Elizabethan times through the ostentatious costumes worn then. The filmmakers actually ended up winning the Academy Award for Best Costumes for their efforts. Apart from this, Titanic, Moulin Rouge, and Chicago are examples of relatively recent movies that put in a lot of effort to get the look right.

As for masks, we tend to associate them with superhero movies. However, Spiderman was not the only one to hide his identity in a mask. Remember how Robin Williams pretended to be a woman in Mrs. Doubtfire? That certainly was a mask with a difference. More recently, we saw Gwyneth Paltrow don a similar mask in her portrayal of an overweight woman in the hit movie, Shallow Hal. If you love fantasies, the face of Harry Potter's arch enemy, Lord Voldemort is unforgettable. His mask certainly goes with the character of "the one who is not to be named".

From the movies to costume parties, masks are constantly in demand. And movies such as The Man in the Iron Mask, and the Jim Carrey starrer, The Mask, merely fuel the love for this piece of disguise.

“It’s getting hot in here…” IPTVRecipes.com heats up

At IPTVRecipes.com there are, already, dazzling desserts, scrumptious seafood and appealing appetizer recipes; and, videos from France, China, Italy, the Philippines and the US – within their food-lovers community that's growing – every day.

Where have you been?!

Whether you're a food freak for frittatas or a veteran vegan – IPTVRecipes.com is the place to join and explore.  Want to record a cooking video that requires 10, 20, 30 minutes of taping time?  No problem!

Unlike most other video social network sites which restrict you to 100MB or so of video space per video upload (this equates to just 5-10 minutes of playtime), IPTVRecipes.com allows you 1GB of space for every recipe you upload, and they don't, even, have a limit on the number of recipes you can upload!  Finally, people who understand that cooking is a process which involves food selection, prep work, cooking techniques and tips - all of which we want to watch.

So, go ahead - upload your favorite "comfort food," or that recipe from home that reminds you of your childhood and the sweetness of it all.  Or, perhaps you've just learned a new concoction that you've added your special twist to that you just can't wait to exchange.

Share your skills and love of food with the rest of the IPTVRecipes.com community – and the world!  There's no place like it on the 'net.

IPTVRecipes.com is where food lovers, home cooks, chefs and food-related businesses have an outstanding, free vertical social network to fully interact – sharing food-related videos, recipes, Forum discussions and food-related shopping deals.  

You can broadcast your favorite recipe via your personal MyKitchen – and, sooner than you think, you'll be able to share your video directly to your home TV via IPTV!  Sorta' boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Even if you're archaic and don't have a video camera (yet) – IPTVRecipes is still the most informative, interactive and innovative all-things-food site you've ever seen!  Imagine being able to, virtually, eavesdrop while someone presents, step-by-step, right in front of you, their favorite recipe for …. [fill in the blank].  It's (almost) as good as being there- once they get smell-a-video up and running.

So, that saying about "Too many chefs…" ---  meet IPTVRecipes.com and… hang on!

“If all you have is a hammer everything starts to look like a nail”

We were watching the film Mulholland Drive yesterday and it suddenly hit us like a bolt of lightening. How many times we misdiagnose a situation. How many times we carry on a path not knowing that our assumption have taken us miles off course. 

It's like playing golf and only knowing how to use three clubs and having to use them in every situation.

It's like looking through a camera zoom lens instead of a wide angle.

It's like blindly following another's opinion. 

The fact is that most of our lives are spent reusing the information collected in our formative years. Thus, when anything new enters our arena we immediately go to the past to try to make sense of it.

The outcome is: we each live an illusion. We each see our world through some really heavily tinted spectacles. We each act as though we are a hammer and everything that comes in front of us is a nail. 

The problem is. IT DOESN'T WORK. 

We were amazed how easily we fell into the trap. How easily we interpreted what was happening before our eyes and made it logical. How easily we searched for closure. 

To make us comfortable we wanted to put things into a comfortable category. We wanted to place happenings in a box in the same way a librarian codes books for easy access. Ah! That goes in the family box. That is rude behaviour. That is unacceptable in public. That shows he is uneducated etc etc etc…

Yes, you could argue that this form of coding is important in life because it helps us get through life quickly. 

BUT!!!  

Why do we like to put ourselves and others into 'psychological boxes'?  What is it about us that we like to say we are this type of person or that? Why do we want to limit ourselves? Why do we want to sell ourselves short? 

It's like being a carpenter who only has a hammer in his toolbox. We are restricting ourselves beyond belief. Just imagine how restricting it would be if you only had a hammer in your toolbox? How can you get passionate about anything if all you are capable of is knocking the brains out of any information that comes your way?

How do you find out what you were brought onto this planet to do if all you can do is respond in the same way to whatever is put in front of you.

How do you develop and grow your children if all they see is the same behaviour irrespective of the problem posed.

How do you rise to the challenges of our society if all you do is apply the same reasoning even though it doesn't fit?

As Howard Schatz. The famous New York dance photographer stated in one of his books:

"I told each dancer that when it was easy, it had probably been done

before, probably many times. I explained that only when it was so hard 

that it was nearly impossible were we perhaps close to getting something

unique and extraordinary." 

Is this why we like to categorise situations and people? We actually don't like hard work. 

Is it that we don't like the pressure of being our true selves? Because to do that we have to stand out?

Is it that we can't cope with being unique and extraordinary, so we just want to be similar and ordinary?

Is it that we are afraid of who we might be? Are we afraid that we can be successful? Afraid that if we admit to ourselves that we have talent we might have to do something with our lives?

Is it that we don't really want to find out who we really are and what we are capable of?

We don't know about you but we want to be unique, we want to find out and use our uniqueness. We want to be fulfilled. We want to find our energy source that is released when we are doing what we are intended to do. We want to be in the flow, as some writers describe it. 

We have come to realise that what stops us from being in the flow all the time. What stops us from releasing our passion. What stops us from behaving naturally. What makes us waste energy.

FEAR. 

Fear keeps us placing people and situations into categories.

Fear stops us from leading ourselves.

Fear stops us from letting go of the past.

Fear keeps our habitual patterns in place.

Being frightened and feeling second best stop us from finding our true selves.

Fear buries the natural me.

"A musician must make music, and artists must paint, 

a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. 

What a man can be, he must be"

(Maslow)

What about you?

Fitness Tips for Seniors

As humans age it is critical to stay in shape in order to maintain an optimum level of health. For senior citizens, exercising can get more and more difficult; however, working out is still possible as long as you stay as safe as possible. The following are some fitness tips for seniors.

1. When figuring out what type of fitness routine you would like to accomplish, it is important to consider the types of activities you enjoy. You will be more motivated to continue exercises if you enjoy what you are doing.

2. Not surprisingly, many seniors enjoy working out with a personal trainer or an exercise partner. This is due to the fact that they like the help that they receive with their routines. This will help them to workout harder and it will also be safer, so this is a great idea. It can be surprising what great shape many senior citizens are in nowadays. Many are still quite strong and muscularly toned.

3. If you haven't worked out in a while, one of the best fitness tips for seniors is to start off very slow. You do not want to injure yourself before you get to see the effects of your workout program. As you work out your strength and your endurance gradually will return. Your muscles will be sore as you start out, so do not try to do too much too soon. Your body can overcome this soreness with proper rest and the right nutrition.

4. It is a good idea to set short term goals when you are starting out. This will make it easier to reach goals and you will feel a sense of accomplishment at each goal that you reach. The more goals you reach, the more apt you are to continue to keep up with your routine.

5. It is a truly good idea to drink as much water as possible while doing your routine, as hydration is a large component to working out and staying healthy. This can also save your muscles from cramping due to dehydration.

6. It is also a good idea to be sure that your shoes fit properly. You might want to slightly wear them in before beginning a routine.

As a senior citizen, it is more important than ever to keep your body in good shape. By exercising and working out regularly your body and mind will stay healthy and you will get much more out of life.

Do Weight Loss Pills Work?

Everyone knows that dieting rarely ever works unless you are determined to stick to a healthy eating and exercise plan. Boredom often sets in, and this leads to us slowly backing out of our fitness goals. Exercising can eat up too much of our time, and we end up letting our weight loss goals fall by the wayside. Many of us instead turn to diet pills and other over the counter remedies for weight loss; but do weight loss pills work? This desperation has made this a multi-billion dollar industry in America and it is only expected to increase.

Weight Loss Pills
The size of the diet pill industry should not come as a surprise, given the many commercials and other advertising media that tout diet pills as a miracle replacement for good eating and exercise. The idea of weight loss in a pill is idyllic. New products are introduced every single day; however, there is only a handful that have actually been approved by the FDA. Before you purchase any old brand it is important to know which ones will actually work as guaranteed and which ones are safe for your body.

It is no surprise that many of the products available over the counter are not only not effective but can cause many health problems as well. Anything that promises results quickly should be considered unsafe and ineffective. Losing weight too rapidly is never a safe alternative to natural weight loss.

Health Hazard
Not all diet pills are created equally. There are some that are not hazardous to your health and do actually deliver what they have promised. Some will boost the metabolism and aid in weight loss whilst others will stop your body from absorbing as much fat. You simply have to research which ones are the best. Weight loss pills should not be something you try just to see if they will work. It is important to know what you are putting in your body.

One of the best ways to tell if something is safe is if all of the ingredients are natural. If you choose a supplement that is made mostly of herbs and other extracts, the chances are that this is a much safer alternative than choosing something that is full of manmade ingredients. Some of the manmade ingredients can be quite hazardous to your health and can cause permanent, irreversible damage.

No Effort Usually Equals No Results
We have all been subject to the late night infomercials that showcase weight loss pills that require no effort on your part to lose weight. This should be your first inclination that something about the product is unsafe. These commercials boast that the products help fight against weight gain, and that you will not have to watch what you eat or how much you exercise. No diet is effective without the proper nutrition and exercise routine and this should always be kept in mind.

How to Straighten Teeth Without Dental Braces

Our teeth are one of the first things that people notice when they meet us for the first time; after all, as soon as we smile they are on show for all to see, so we would all like to have naturally white and perfectly straight teeth. Unfortunately not everyone has straight teeth so we are always looking for advice on how to straighten teeth and ways to straighten teeth that don't involve the use of unsightly metal braces.

Available Procedures
There are a number of options when it comes to dental braces that can be used to straighten teeth, though as teeth straightening methods go this is no quick fix and involves wearing the braces for several months at least. There is simply no way to straighten teeth fast other than to have them all removed and replaced with dentures! Just as there is no sure way to straighten teeth fast there is also no way to straighten teeth naturally without the use of something to apply pressure to the crooked teeth to force them back into position.

For those looking to straighten teeth naturally and straighten teeth at home there is another option on the market other than the traditional dental braces. Instead of using a traditional dental brace a set of aligners are placed over the teeth. Now when searching for advice on how to straighten teeth you have another option.

Straighten Teeth without Braces
When thinking about how to straighten teeth without braces it can be difficult to imagine another option, but tooth aligners are now available to patients in the US. These aligners are made to measure and are placed over the existing teeth; these aligners are swapped for a new set every couple of weeks and over time will gradually force the teeth back into alignment. Unlike metal braces they are invisible and no one will know that you are wearing them. Just as dental braces allow you to straighten your teeth at home so do the aligners, as the pressure needs to be constantly applied to ensure the teeth move into their new positions.

There is no other way to straighten your teeth at home without the use of either teeth braces or aligners, or straighten teeth fast as it takes time for the pressure to move the teeth. Teeth straightening is something that needs addressing by a dental professional, they know how to straighten teeth to give you the perfect smile you desire.

“How Great is the Strength of Your Belief?”

Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours. It is powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief. 

  

What is it that you desire? Often people do not have a clue what it is they want, they just know what they do not want. 

Now is a good time to evaluate your goals and determine the end result you want to achieve. 

Put your goals in writing and place them where you can see them throughout the day. 

Read them frequently to keep them fresh on your mind. 

• Be inquisitive. Research and learn as much as you can on how you can achieve your goal. 

Use all possible resources such as books, CDs, courses and people. 

Yes, people. Talk to as many people as possible who are already successful in what you want to achieve. 

Ask, ask and ask some more about what they did to reach success. 

Do not limit your contacts to only the people you already know. Introduce yourself by phone or mail, explain your purpose for contacting them and ask for a tip. 

The worst thing that can happen is that they ignore you. 

The best thing that can happen is that they become your mentor and offer support and encouragement. Chances are you will receive at least one great tip from many of the people you contact. This method is the least expensive and most rewarding. 

• Be unique. Next, take the ideas you learn, embellish them and come up with your own creative process. Think of how you can approach your goal in a way that no one else has. Dare to be different. Don't be afraid to take risks. What do you have to loose? Write out a list showing the worst things that could happen and then list all of the best possible outcomes. Always maintain your concentration on your desired result.

• Be better than your competition. When you were a child and saw your older siblings or friends riding a bike (without training wheels), you didn't look at their scraped knees and elbows and say, "Whoa, I could get hurt doing that." Instead, you begged to try it for yourself. With a great deal of practice and often pain, you gradually learned how to maintain your balance. Before long you were trying to "out do" your friends with your speed or fancy tricks. When you fell, you would get back on and try again with even greater determination. From your very first effort, you believed in your mind that if you got back on, you would eventually learn to ride. I bet you even knew in your mind you would be the best in the neighborhood, in your school, in the state, in the world!   

 

• Be positive. If you see obstacles before you, then you will also only see problems. If you have hesitations that you plan will not work, then it will not work. If you are influenced by the power of negative people, then you will never be any better than they are. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of achieving.   

When your desire to succeed is stronger than the pain, fear or frustration of failing, there is no turning back. I challenge you to view your goals just like you did when you were a child before you learned about self doubt and negative criticism. Remember, anything is possible as long as you believe. Make a commitment that you will not let anything or anyone, including yourself stand in your way of reaching your goals.

'I Can Write A Book In A Weekend,' And Five Other Annoying Things Beginners Say

Since every literate person can write, most people think they can be writers. Interestingly enough, we all can speak quite well, but few of us would deem ourselves 'speakers.' However, this prevalent belief encourages beginners to say the oddest things that make professional writers want to cringe (or preferably strangle them with a thin wire). If you find yourself saying the following, please stop:

1. "I can write a book in a weekend."

I'm certain you can mutilate a couple hundred pages with words; however, that doesn't mean that anyone will want to read them. Yes, I know there are prolific writers who can write a book in two weeks (Voltaire supposedly wrote Candide in three days). Usually they are professionals who have mastered a style and understand the craft of writing. Have you?

2. "I can write those 'trashy' books and make tons of money." 

Bwahaha! I love this one.

Many new writers see a 200-page romance or mystery and scoff. These things are so easy, they tell themselves. I can write this in a day. I doubt it, but maybe you can. If you do, will anyone pay you to read it? That is the difference. Those who sell in these genres usually have a passion for the craft that translates onto the page. Hate romance? Think mysteries are ridiculous? Believe sci-fi is for loonies? Then don't write it, editors and especially readers can tell. 

3. "If this crap gets published, I bet I could get a contract in six months."

Define crap. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Don't be arrogant and think the world should concede to your every taste (that's what critics are for). Every writer is not meant for every reader. Just because you don't like a book doesn't mean it's not good. It's just not good for you. I don't like okra; however, that doesn't mean I need to start an anti-okra campaign. Diversity is what makes life interesting.

Okay, okay you're not talking about taste. You're talking about horrible, poorly written books. 

Yes, I know there are some truly bad books out there. Here's the hard truth. 

Some bad books (poor grammar, poor structure and poor execution of a plot simpler than a fairy tale) get published. 

I have plenty of dents in my wall from an effective toss. However, these books are probably 'placement' books to fill a hole in a publishing list. 

Usually, these books sink and their authors are rarely heard from again.

Unfortunately, the existence of these books convinces people that getting their book published should be a breeze. Sure, and every person with a dream to sing will become the next International Idol. Is it fair? No. Do they care? No.

4. "I can write better than that." 

If you can, shut up and write. Nobody wants to hear about it. It's as annoying as listening to someone explain what they would do if they ruled the world—well you don't. Next! 

5. "I'd write, if I had more time." 

You'll never get more time; steal it. That's what the rest of us do.

6. "I have the perfect book already written in my head." 

Sure, and I have the secrets to the universe taped to the bottom of my shoe. People who say this remind me of the naked emperor walking down the street trying to convince his kingdom that he's clothed. You're fooling no one except yourself and you look ridiculous.

Writing is work. Writers make it look effortless because that's our job (imagine the disappointment you would feel seeing a dancer straining to leap off the ground). 

I encourage anyone with a desire and passion to write fiction to do so. Write with meaning; write with truth and skill. Write because you must, not as a path to riches and stardom. It may come; it may not.

The real writers (beginner and pro) don't talk about it; they do it. Be one of those.

"Food Of The Future," 40 Years In The Making

Forty years ago, a first-class stamp cost a nickel, a new science fiction television show called "Star Trek" made its debut and a tasty topping began its crunchy history of enhancing salads, baked potatoes and Americans' cupboards.

General Mills first tested Bac-Os as a better-for-you alternative to bacon in select markets in 1965. 

Bit by bit, the product's popularity took off, and it was dubbed a "food of the future" in early television advertisements. 

Consumers enjoyed the convenient product's multipurpose use-a savory ingredient used to jazz up casseroles, salads, soups and other favorite dishes. 

This handy condiment helped home cooks streamline their kitchen prep and promised the smoke-cured, sizzling flavor of bacon without a splattering mess.

"A jar of Bac-Os brought the flavor and texture of crisp bacon right to the family dinner table in a fraction of the time," says Maggie Gilbert, manager of the Betty Crocker Kitchens test kitchen. "Because they were considered superconvenient and required no refrigeration, they soon became a familiar ingredient in popular recipes of the day, such as holiday party dips, sweet-sour beans and twice-baked potatoes."

The brand debuted in its first print advertising campaign in 1970. 

The product was featured in several new recipes from the Betty Crocker Kitchens in national magazines, such as Better Homes and Gardens and Family Circle. 

Shortly thereafter, General Mills extended the line to include Saus-Os and Pepr-Os, two new soy proteins with distinct flavor possibilities.

Today, Bac-Os continues to appeal to consumers, particularly by offering added health benefits: 

They're made with the goodness of soy, are kosher and contain no MSG. 

They can also help consumers keep healthy eating in check, without tipping the scale on calories, fat, saturated fat or cholesterol.

Happy Birthday, Bac-Os!

Italian Spinach and Mushroom Salad

This seasonal salad for special gatherings has extra crunch and a burst of added flavor.

1 package (10 oz.) fresh spinach leaves, rinsed and patted dry

1 package (8 oz.) sliced mushrooms

1 can (19 oz.) Progresso chick peas, drained and rinsed

1/3 cup Betty Crocker Bac-Os bacon flavor bits or chips

1/2 cup seasoned croutons

1/2 cup Italian dressing

In large salad bowl, toss all ingredients except dressing. Just before serving, drizzle with dressing and toss gently. Makes 4 servings.

Jars of a revolutionary new "food of the future" product appeared on grocers' shelves 40 years ago, offering busy consumers the bacon flavor they loved with a simple shake of the wrist.

"Don't Polish The Turd," And Other Oddball Writing Advice That Works

Even with a dozen published books to my name, I sometimes need a dose of inspiration when I sit down to write. Above my desk, I've posted a paper with various pieces of fiction-writing wisdom I've collected over the years. Some of the advice may sound odd, but I've found it all helpful. Here it is:

1. Write as if no one's reading. If you always imagine a reader perched on your shoulder, you'll be afraid to take chances. At least for the first draft, ignore that imaginary reader and free yourself to write whatever crazy, impossible, lousy things occur to you. You can always fix it later - in fact, you SHOULD fix it later. But you'll have nothing to rewrite if you're too intimidated to write in the first place.

2. Show up at the page. Writers write. They sit down - ideally every day but at least as regularly as possible - and write.

3. Don't polish the turd. If you find yourself spending a lot of time trying to save an idea, a chapter or even a sentence, it usually means it's time to move on. You're wasting your time trying to beautify something that, well, just plain stinks.

4. Make bad things happen to good people. Novels are driven by conflict, and that means bad things have to happen to your characters - these people that you've created and have grown to love over the course of your novel. Your main character can have a happy ending, but along the way, he or she has to deal with sorrow, disappointments and possibly even danger.

5. Murder your darlings. That sentence you LOVE? The sex scene that you're sure will win you the Pulitzer? The pages that moved you to tears? Be prepared to kill them. In a novel, it's the piece as a whole that matters - not so much the individual parts. Sometimes your best writing will have to see the sharp end of your editing blade to make things work.

6. Let Sean Connery write your sentences. As James Bond, he's a man of action: things are not done to him, he does them. That's how you should structure your sentences. Jason did not get stabbed by Susan - rather, Susan stabbed Jason. The weapon was not found by police - the police found the weapon. Writing in the active voice keeps things moving...and your readers reading.

7. When in doubt, pick one, any one. At some point in your story, you're likely to face a fork in the road. Should Marianne get in the car? Or should she take off running down the road? Should she slap the guy? Kiss him? Reveal that she's always secretly loved him? When you're faced with a decision you can't seem to make, just make it. Pick one, start writing, and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, you can always cut it and try again (see #5).

8. Keep your friends close and your reviewers closer. It can be helpful to get feedback as you go, but choose your readers carefully. Giving your precious pages to someone who is frustrated at their own inability to write a novel is like handing them a loaded gun ... pointed right at you.

9. Rewriting is writing. You may have heard the old saw that "writing is rewriting," but I like to flip it. Rewriting is just as valid a form of creativity as your first draft. Sometimes it takes more than a polish - it takes reaching into your gut and daring to make whatever changes need to be made, no matter how extensive they may be.

10. Skip and go naked. Be free. Have fun. Through the hard and often lonely work that is writing, remember to feel the joy. Unlike money, fame or even publication, it's the one payoff that's guaranteed.

"Do I Have Writing Talent?" It’s A Mistaken Question

Over the years, many people have asked me to look at their writing. "I need to know, do I have talent or not," they say. "Then I'll know if I should pursue writing or stick to accounting."

Their request is seriously flawed, I'd reply. Anyone can become a better writer. When I taught English Composition at various colleges, I saw irrefutable proof of this. Students who submitted hackneyed, half-dead writing to start with turned in lively, well-written essays by the end of the semester. Likewise, I've seen plenty of writers whose work seems plain and unimaginative get assignment upon assignment from magazines while others with dazzling wordcraft skills can't get published anywhere.

According to Stanford psychology professor Carol Dweck, I was right to question the query about talent. Dweck's book, Mind-set: The New Psychology of Success, reports research showing that in education, the arts and business, people who believe talent is fixed and inborn do not fully develop their potential and do not recover easily from setbacks.

Those who believe talent can be developed, regardless of apparent starting point, not only achieve more but also prompt greater achievement in their children and staff.

Her best news: You can change your mind-set about talent or intelligence. In only two months, kids who were taught that the brain, like a muscle, improves with exercise saw

their math scores rocket from F's to B's.

Toss out the belief that you either have writing talent or you don't. Instead, approach getting published as requiring a set of skills that you can deliberately learn. These skills include:

1. Being sensitive to the differences between words. A good dictionary can help with this, if you consult it to learn, for example, whether a "cauldron" is the same as a "kettle" or when a gang member would be said to have "bravery" and when "bravado."

2. Recognizing that getting your message across has less to do with what you meant and more to do with how readers understand the words you put together. If no one "gets it," you must write it differently. Often this lesson is harder for those who feel desperately called to write than for those with a more matter-of-fact attitude toward writing.

3. Being willing to put a piece of writing aside, look at again in the cold light of the morning and rearrange, replace and revise the elements of the piece to tell the story more clearly and more artfully.

4. Having the discipline to learn and apply the rules of spelling, grammar and usage. Yes, when your work is accepted for publication you'll usually have an editor who'll save you from major mistakes. But editors prefer working with those who know and follow the standards of professional writing.

5. Being able to bounce back from disappointment. In the writing business, the possibility of rejection never goes away. Successful writers learn not to take it personally for more than an hour or so, then they simply go on to the next publication outlet or the next writing project.

From what I've observed, these five skills and attitudes matter much more for success as a writer than anything we'd generally label as talent. Resolve to develop yourself along those lines and you're certain to get somewhere as a writer. Really!

11 Great Reasons why Smiling makes us More Successful!

First: Our smile shows others people that we are friendly.

If a stranger approached you and gained eye contact with you and then treated you to a broad smile you will have a fairly good idea that they are being friendly and certainly mean you no harm. 

By contrast we would find it far more difficult to offer trust to the stranger that wears a scowl or unfriendly face features.

Second: A smile can make people happy.

When someone treats you to a smile, even a stranger, you usually smile back.  For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. As you walk through a crowed area such as a main street you can do this hundreds times in a very short period of time.  

When you smile at someone who is not already smiling and they smile back you have brought a moment of happiness into their lives which, who knows, could last all day.

Third: Smiling is infectious.

When you spend a lot in the company of someone who smiles a lot you will soon discover that their smile starts to wear off on you.  It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at a subliminal level without thinking.

Fourth: Smiling can make you popular.

Which type of people do you prefer? A person that has a tired and listless face. An expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of boredom and worry? Or, would you prefer someone who is always smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life.

I think for the majority of us the choice would be obvious!

Fifth: Smiling can help you to make new friends

In the same way few of us would choice a miserable person for a friend. Lets face it we all want someone who is going to be bubbly and a happy and positive.  

Sixth: A smile is usually returned

When someone smiles back at you it make you feel good inside. You have just made a short but very positive communication and possibly the first step in the process of getting to know or making friends with someone new. 

Seventh: Smiling makes you positive and happy inside.

When you smile it is hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad in anyway. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive, it is also habit forming. 

Eight: A smile makes you look far more attractive.

You don't see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling because if you did it is fairly certain that their popularity would quickly start to drop!

Ninth: Smiling also helps make you memorable to others!

Have you noticed that smiling people are usually far more memorable than those that are not? It is fact that you are 3 time more likely to remember the person that is smiling over the one that is wearing a negative or neutral features.

Tenth: Most importantly, smiling is good for your health!!!

When you are smiling you find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve most aspects of your life.

Eleventh: The effects of smiling can last for hours

Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them and hold.  For a while you forget the problems and become positive, and while you are in a positive state you have far more potential and power to advance and improve your life.

Lastly: Smiling is FREE!

You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around.  When you weigh up the positive points of smiling it is a no brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.

Keep smiling.

About Article Submitters

(Article Submitter)… It's  an  amazing time saver. Also it will help you stay organized. Let's look at article marketing or submission in general.

Article directories allow you as the author to store your work and take advantage of the traffic that visits them. 

So Instead of directly searching for other sites to publish your articles, you can submit your articles to article directories.

There are hundreds if not thousands of article directories where you can submit your articles. 

It can take days or weeks to contact all these directories and fill out each submission form.

For the time you spend submitting to these directories, you could have spent it writing more articles.

When you don't have the extra hours in a day to contact each directory and submit them by hand, you can use article submitters to automate in part or in full, the article submission process.

The Article Submitter allows you to automatically submit your articles to hundreds of article directories with a few mouse clicks. 

Basically all I You to do is input an article criteria into the software, ONCE! Then, the program would automatically fill in all of the required data at each of the submission websites. 

Pretty Amazing Useful and .…WHAT a TIME SAVER.

You simply click the submit button and your article is instantly submitted to the directory. 

Then, you can move to the next directory, go through the list, and by the time you're finished you'll have a hundred one way links pointing to your website.

...Not Just "Holidays

As time has gone by, the idea of holiday has undergone deep changes depending on the fast development of our modern lifestyles.

Lignano Sabbiadoro bloomed in the Sixties and Seventies as a seaside resort and it was then considered to be among the most exclusive holiday destinations favoured by VIPs. 
Nowadays, however, it would be unthinkable to offer the same kind of holiday people used to look for thirty years ago: all holiday resorts and facilities had to adapt to the requirements of modern tourists, just like the Hotel Bella Venezia Mare did in order to be able to offer holidays which could actually turn out to be real "experiences" thanks to the many available activities and sports.

The a Hotel Bella Venezia Mare was founded in 1968 in the new location of Lignano Pineta. 
This district of the town Lignano Sabbiadoro was developed from an innovative urban planning according to which all the streets were built as being part of a whirl starting from the central "Rosa dei Venti square" and stretching until the outer arches reach the beach. 
As consequence of this peculiar urban plan, every house and every hotel in Lignano is located in the middle of a peaceful Mediterranean pinewood but, at the same time, not far from the town centre and the beach. 
The favourable location of the hotel Bella Venezia Mare has turned out to be the linchpin of all evolutions and updates this structure has undertaken.

Recently refurbished, this hotel has decided to focus on the high quality standard of the services it offers. 
Since now is unbelievably easy to get everywhere around the world, business competition in the tourist sector has exponentially increased and, in order to remain competitive and to be a match for far away exotic paradises, the best solution is to keep very high the quality standard of all services offered to tourists. 
That actually means making use of the experience acquired in the past, when only few people could afford flight tickets and some countries were not accessible at all.

The solid family management of the Hotel Bella Venezia has made it possible to establish the right balance between consistency and evolution: modern services, like WiFi Internet connection and on-line bookings are here available side by side with old traditional Mediterranean cuisine and customer care , which has remained the same.

Today's lifestyle has turned comfort into a basic requirement, therefore a stay has to offer a lot more than this in order to be considered a true holiday: besides the comfort of baby-sitting services, of bicycles and baby buggies rentals the Hotel Bella Venezia has decided to put at its guests' disposal swimming courses for free, useful presents for all those who stay at least one week and it makes it easier for them to practice several sports: tennis courts and golf green lie nearby while courses of scuba diving, kite-surf, wind-surf and sailing are offered at unbeatable conditions to the hotel guests.

The strategy chosen by the Hotel Bella Venezia Mare proofs that professionalism enables firms to offer very high quality services, thanks to which they are competitive on the market, but due to which they are bound to update constantly their services.

7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier

All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood.  

You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. 

Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. 

When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. 

Can you think of such a setting not? 

What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh  smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? 

Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.

3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack.  Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. 

Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. 

Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.  

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere.  

Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. 

Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. 

That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. 

Kids love drawing silly little pictures. 

Drawing is not just for kids or artists.  

Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. 

At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world.  

There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. 

There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. 

Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

Who Is Your Audience?

Understanding the type of people who visit your site is a very important task because you can use that information to enhance your site to suit them. 

As a result, you will gain more loyal returning visitors that come back again and again for more.

What is the age level and what kind of knowledge does your audience have? 

A layman might linger around a general site on gardening, but a professional botanist might turn his nose at the very same site. 

Similarly, a regular person will leave a site filled with astronomy abstracts but a well educated university graduate will find that site interesting.

Take your audience's emotional state into consideration when building your site. If a very irritated visitor searches for a solution and comes across your site, you will want to make sure you offer the solution right up front and sell or promote your product to him second. 

In this way, the visitor will put his trust in you for offering the solution to his problems and is more likely to buy your product when you offer it to him after that.

When you design the layout for your site, you have to take into account the characteristics of your audience. 

Are they old or young people? Are they looking for trends or are they just looking for information served without any icing on the cake? 

For example, introducing a new, exciting game with a simple, straightforward black text against white background page will definitely turn prospects away. 

Make sure your design suits your site's general theme.

Try to sprinkle colloquial language in your sites sparingly where you see fit and you will create a sense that your audience is on common ground with you. 

This in turn builds a trusting relationship between you and your audience, which will come in useful should you want to market a product to your audience.

Blind Date vs Internet Date

Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend.  

You, foolishly, accept.  Now there you are. It's less than one hour since you were introduced.  

You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food.  The entrée has not yet been served.  

His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren't into sports. 

He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven't sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. 

He says, "Volunteering is a waste of time because you can't help 'those people' anyway." 

You look at your watch; see that it's only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation.  

Been there?  

Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. 

First, you don't need to be introduced.  

You already know this man.  

You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other's favorite is Italian. 

The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests.  

He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. 

You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone. 

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend "setting you up" and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn't there?  

Now which one would you rather have?  

Investing Mistakes to Avoid

Along the way, you may make a few investing mistakes, however there are big mistakes that you absolutely must avoid if you are to be a successful investor. 

For instance, the biggest investing mistake that you could ever make is to not invest at all, or to put off investing until later. 

Make your money work for you – even if all you can spare is $20 a week to invest! 

While not investing at all or putting off investing until later are big mistakes, investing before you are in the financial position to do so is another big mistake. 

Get your current financial situation in order first, and then start investing. 

Get your credit cleaned up, pay off high interest loans and credit cards, and put at least three months of living expenses in savings. 

Once this is done, you are ready to start letting your money work for you.

Don't invest to get rich quick. That is the riskiest type of investing that there is, and you will more than likely lose. 

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it! Instead, invest for the long term, and have the patience to weather the storms and allow your money to grow. 

Only invest for the short term when you know you will need the money in a short amount of time, and then stick with safe investments, such as certificates of deposit.

Don't put all of your eggs into one basket. Scatter it around various types of investments for the best returns. 

Also, don't move your money around too much. Let it ride. Pick your investments carefully, invest your money, and allow it to grow – don't panic if the stock drops a few dollars. 

If the stock is a stable stock, it will go back up. 

A common mistake that a lot of people make is thinking that their investments in collectibles will really pay off. 

Again, if this were true, everyone would do it. Don't count on your Coke collection or your book collection to pay for your retirement years! 

Count on investments made with cold hard cash instead.

Grab the 2nd Edition of Milkowitz' Bipolar Disorder Guide for Patient and Family Members

Books are generally widely available in many different places. A lot of people spend countless hours in bookstores trying to find good quality reading materials that can help in enriching their minds with fresh and new ideas or knowledge that they may find useful in their everyday lives.

Finding a good book is not that hard, especially if you know what you're looking for. And besides, if you're a book-lover you already have a wide range of choices when it comes to authors.

Everyday, a huge number of people are diagnosed with different diseases or illnesses. Perhaps, you're one of them, or maybe a family member is afflicted. It's hard to tell when a person will get an illness, or when he's already suffering from it. And this is true with bipolar. If you have no idea what bipolar is, then you'd better purchase the book written by David J. Miklowitz.

The second edition of the book entitled ' The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know' is a very good addition to your book collection. Not only that, it can be of great help to you and your family.

Before, people diagnosed with bipolar don't have much choices to help them in their daily struggle. But at present, because of sharper diagnosis, better medicine, and a lot of support groups, there is a bright future waiting for bipolar patients.

The author of the book mentioned is a Psychology Professor in Colorado University since 1989. He conducted a valuable research funded by MacArthur Foundation and the NIMH which was recognized and awarded by various organizations. His book's second edition is a great resource for bipolar patients because it provides information on:

- early signs and warnings on mood swings caused by normal day to day experiences

- medications available for bipolar patients and their possible side effects

- things to do when you're descending into mania or depression

- how to get support and help from friends and family members

- how to inform co-workers about the illness without losing your career

The abovementioned information is clearly discussed on the book. David Miklowitz wrote the book's second edition intended for the use of the patient. It is a comprehensive guide that tackles different information and other related questions that the patient may have in mind. It will help them to take charge and reclaim their life from bipolar. Since Miklowitz is a specialist and a researcher, he is considered an expert in his own field; and therefore, he is able to provide proven tools that can help bipolar patients to balance their life emotionally and financially.

Don't lose your life to bipolar, make a move now and purchase the book by Miklowitz. It has garnered high ratings in many editorial reviews. The book deals with exclusive patient issues like overcoming the diagnosis, the right person(s) to confide, and recognizing your mood swings. The book is not only useful for patients, but for their therapists and family members as well. Many editors claim that the book is humane and impressive. It promotes stability, explores multidimensional management techniques, thorough, well-written, and full of great advice to re-organize the patient's life. People having the illness, as well as non-sufferers can find the book very useful.

The book is also a great addition to large libraries because it is rich in materials to demystify bipolar. It explains methodically the disease, symptoms, diagnosis, and cogently explains possible causes; and at the same time offers advice to manage it. There are also logs and worksheets provided to help patients better understand bipolar. All in all, the book is interesting, informative, and compassionate.

Your life is full of ups and downs. It is a natural occurrence that all people must be able to cope with; but not all people are strong enough to face the hardships of life. And so a great number of them end up with certain illnesses like bipolar. Don't despair because it's not the end for you of your family; there are many resources to turn to like this book. Open your mind to the many resources that can help you in your suffering. Purchase the book now and see the difference. 

2 Surefire Ways To Maximize Your Adsense Earnings

Most webmasters know that Adsense generates a sizeable source of additional advertising income. That is why most of them use it to go after high paying keywords. They have with them the lists that tells what the keywords are and have already used various methods of identifying them. And yet, after putting up these supposed-to-be high paying keywords into their pages, the money they expected to come rolling in is not really coming in. 

What is it that they are doing wrong?

Having the pages is with the proper keywords is one thing. But driving visitors to those pages is another matter and often the factor that is lacking. 

The thing is, to get visitors to your high paying keyword pages, you need to optimize your site navigation.

Stop for a moment and think about how visitors are using your website. After a visitor has landed on a certain page, they have the tendency to click on another page that sounds interesting. They get there because of the other links that appears on a page that they initially landed on. This is site navigation. It is all about enabling visitors to move about your site. And one way of maximizing your Adsense earnings.

A typical website have menu links on each page. The wording on these links is what grabs a visitor's attention and gets them to click on one of the links that will take them to another page of that website. Links that have "free' or "download" are oftentimes good attention-grabbers. 

This navigation logic can also be applied to driving traffic to your high paying pages. 

There are some websites that are getting a lot of traffic from search engines, but have low earnings. 

The trick is to try and use come cleverly labeled links to get the visitors off that pages and navigate them to the higher earning ones. 

This is one great way of turning real cheap clicks to real dollars.

Before you begin testing if this same style will work for you and you website, you need to have two things. 

Something to track and compare and some high earning pages you want to funnel your site traffic to. 

An option is to select a few of your frequently visited pages. This is ensuring fast result to come by.

Now, the next thing to do is think of ways to get visitors viewing a particular page to try and click on the link that will take them to your high earning pages. 

Come up with a catchy description for that link. 

Come up with a catchy and unique description for the link. 

Think of something that people do not get to see everyday. That will trigger their curiosity enough to try and see what that was all about. 

You can also use graphics to grab your readers' attention. 

There is no limitation to what you can do to make your link noticeable. 

If you are after the success of your site, you will do everything it takes just to achieve that goal. 

Just be creative. As far as many Adsense advertisers are concerned, there are no written and unwritten laws to follow regarding what they write. 

Just as long as you do not overstep the guidelines of the search engines, then go for it.

Also remember that it is all about location, location and location. 

Once the perfect attention grabbing description has been achieved, you have to identify the perfect spot on your page to position that descriptive link to your high paying page.

There is nothing wrong with visiting other websites to see how they are going about maximizing their site navigation. "Hot pages" or "Most read" lists are very common and overly used already. 

Get to know the ones that many websites are using and do not try to imitate them. 

Another way of doing it is to try and use different texts on different pages. 

That way you will see the ones that work and what does not. Try to mix things around also. 

Put links on top and sometimes on the bottom too. This is how you go about testing which ones get more clicks and which ones are being ignored.

Let the testing begin. 

Testing and tracking until you find the site navigation style that works best for your site.

Generating Revenue With Good Planning

For anything to work well, care must be taken to make firm, workable plans to execute it and the same goes for website designs. 

With a well thought out website design, you will be able to create a site that generates multiple streams of revenue for you. 

In fact, may websites turn into online wasteland because they are not well planned and do not get a single visitor. 

Gradually, the webmaster will not be motivated to update it anymore and it turns into wasted cyberspace. 

The crucial point of planning your site is optimizing it for revenue if you want to gain any income from the site. 

Divide your site into major blocks, ordered by themes, and start building new pages and subsections in those blocks. 

For example, you might have a "food" section, an "accomodation" section and an "entertainment" section for a tourism site. 

You can then write and publish relevant articles in the respective sections to attract a stream of traffic that comes looking for further information. 

When you have a broader, better-defined scope of themes for your website, you can sell space on your pages to people interested in advertising on your page. 

You can also earn from programs like Google's Adsense and Yahoo! Search Marketing if people surf to those themed pages and click on the ads. 

For this very reason, the advertisement blocks on your pages need to be relevant to the content, so a themed page fits that criteria perfectly. 

As Internet becomes more widespread, advertising on the Internet will bear more results than on magazines or offline media. 

Hence, start tapping in on this lucrative stream of profit right away!

When Is the Right Time to Redesign?

If you run a website, chances are you often wonder whether it is the right time to do a total redesign of the layout of your website. 

Here are some points to consider:

Are you thinking of a redesign just for the sake of it? If you answered yes to that question, it is not yet the right time to do a redesign. 

Remember, a design serves a specific purpose. If you are not sure whether to do an overhaul of your site, keep in mind that your current design might have a specific purpose that you might not know about. You will lose that function if you do a redesign.

On the other hand, if your website has had the same website design since 1990, perhaps it is high time to do a redesign. 

The last thing you would ever want to happen to your site is when visitors leave your site without taking a look at your content just because the design is old fashioned. 

If this is your case, here are some points to ponder before doing a redesign.

Redesigning your website is like performing plastic surgery on it. 

Your website loses its current identity (for the better or worse) and your regular visitors might not recognize your new design at first glance. 

You risk losing them just because they thought they landed on the wrong page. 

Hence, it is very important that you retain a characteristic feature from your old layout. 

Perhaps it is the logo of your site; perhaps it is the same text style for the title for your site.

To play it safe, put a poll on your site to let your visitors do the talking. 

If they think it is necessary for the website to have a fresh look, give it to them!